A Woman in Harmony

A year can change a woman.

You..
Walk a lil slower
Think a lil longer
Feel a lil stronger
You are in essence evolving.
Shredding your former skin that kept you captive.
...kept you making the same mistakes
Faking the same fakes
My my, just how much you take...
From yourself, from your growth, from your becoming
Forgive yourself for your shortcomings
Forgive yourself for those you've hurt
And forgive those who've hurt you
(Remember, everyone else is learning too)
Feeling like a woman doesn't always feel like it use to.
But I'm no longer fearful of this new hue
And I'm marvelled at what can change in a year
A woman in harmony now lives here
And
I'm
Doing
My
Thang!

i met a man..

and all the earth 

the rain

the sky

the moon

the stars

jupiter and mars

the wind 

the trees

the flowers 

the leaves 

the breeze that blows

my pretty pink toes

the news

the time

the poetry

the rhyme

the memories

the pain

the joy

the tears

the blues

the colours

the endless nights and voiceless voice

the scars

the jupiter and mars

the broken hearts 

and shattered dreams

the thoughts

the hope

the silence

the noise

the void

the fear

the fear

the fear.

i met a man and my life will never be the same again..

Damn.

come

what is the meaning of it all?
wishing on a star that has no shine
last night I allowed myself to remember you
over some wine, red or white, I don't recall
mourning the time that was wasted
lullabying on the things we didn't do..

fighting against the fears that keep me chained
wishing on that sullen star far far away
wondering, what does it all mean again
when a quiet poet has lost her dream?
it's hard to walk away I swear
but time has made it easier on me
humming away at what I should've told you..

and the days they seem so long and drear
and the nights just drag on for what feels like years
I curse the sky that holds the stars
these nagging thoughts that break my sleep
and the words that keep ringing in my ears
I love you but I feel safer scared
while imagining what could never be
and a poet replanting her thought tree
and a poet polishing off that old star
And wine, red or white, I don't recall..

don't you want to be free?

i don't want to end up back in your bed...

i'm trying to find that voice that once set me free.  it's here, it's here somewhere, i just need to find it but i'm growing impatient, i think i'll start small...

"untitled 1"
i feel different things different days
it's making it so hard for me to concentrate
it's making it so hard for me to breathe
i just want to be free..

"untitled 2"
i am ready
ready to feel something again
ready to feel that blood rushing through my veins
ready for the sweet highs and sweet lows
of that thing they call...
(i suppose)

.........

there! i'm proud i got something out :)

ANGRY

Nowadays...
I only write when I’m angry

----

DON'T

this man says he loves me?
THIS MAN SAYS HE LOVES ME?
nuh uh, could never be
for loving me is easy...
walking on the tightrope of my insanity
you have me swimming in the endless sea of insecurity
you have made me lose my spirit song
and wish that there was no more music
you have left me empty, empty.
don’t bring your love where it doesn’t belong
don’t bring that love into my house
don’t let those words drip from your mouth
for loving me is too easy
and I love you so much
I’m willing to let you leave me...

----

FREE

She holds my secrets
close to her heart
close to her soul
and you can’t understand my questions?
(or can you?)

Those secrets I long to know
about a life parallel to mine
and red roses intertwined..

don’t you want to be free?

No feelings no pain
just thum that hum thum
could not stretch like my bubble gum
and holding and carrying the mother load
walking down long winding paths alone

Oh my oh joy oh what have you done?
turned a dark twisted fantasy from the morning sun
and the birds and the bees and the “beesnees”
stay hidden inside her thought tree

Oh why me why me why mademoiselle
we’re all damned to hell so we might as well
have wine and hot sex on Malibu
cause I am no longer waiting on you.

Don’t you want to be free (also)?

----

GOODBYE

goodbye my love, goodbye
sweet sunshine love goodbye
hear the sound of the hummingbird
sweet choral and soft lullabies
and the twinkling of my eyes
remember me as I am, remember everything
the days the nights have all run out
but I will think of you often
as through my mind you run about
oh sweet music to my ear, oh sweet rain
wet the appetite of my pain
goodbye my sugar candy cane
and me your silky cellophane
oh the wonders of the stars
and the Jupiter and the mars
could not hold what our cup held
nor could a better story the soothsayer tell
something real, something spurious
goodbye my mr. curious
I love you..