a break in my transmission begins

Am I better off alone? i mean technically I'm not alone per say, I have wonderful friends and family, and the best gosh darn dogs in the western hemisphere, so where then did I come up with this concept of "aloneness". Is it because I don't have a "significant other"? who fulfils what needs though? physical needs? Well it has been shown over the years that one does not need to be in a "relationship" to have that fulfilled and nowadays people don't even need each other, they just do it their darn selves so that can't be it. So what then? it is a confidant? can't be cause I confide in my closest of friends, I lay all of my insecurities, my problems, my triumphs and failures on them, so i'm lost. maybe then it's this soulmate phenomenon, but i've found my soulmate already, in another female, (and i'm no lesbian "not that there's anything wrong with that!") but i define her as my soulmate because we are so close and alike in so many ways that when we "feel" and we explain to each other how certain things affect us, to me it's like we have the same exact feeling(s), it's weird I know, but she's touched me in ways that make me want to be a better person. But I digress............So where was I? right yes, alone. alone but not lonely. or am I deluding myself? Come to a point now where I don't think I know the difference, I'm just existing in this space and trying to not get left behind, I guess only time will tell if I sink or swim. how can i even know if i'm better off alone when i'm not even really alone, i'm getting confused.