once a child..

i am me.
i am a sinner
i am not curvy
i am particles of my past and future tense
i am black like my coffee with a dash of cream
i am west indian so i speak with an accent
i am imperfect and i have trouble with that sometimes
i am slow to make a fuss or a noise, a weakness? i have to ask
i am patient and too kind, but hey i don't mind
(someone has to be)
i am an underachiever, a good listener and i cry sometimes
i am not pretty but i look good so i've been told
(whatever that means)
i'm emotive but don't get me wrong i can be strong
(when i need to be)
i am losing my passion
i am losing my love, my lover
so it goes...

i am shaped by everything, molded by different hands
i am all the pain that you've been through
and now i'm looking to my shadow
i am looking beneath the surface
to get a clearer view...

i am seeing you with new eyes.

...and shine..

i and i and i and I
have decided today, to let the pain die
and realized that, i needed to smile more
why on earth would i be living my life for?
if i didn't give praise and be thankful for the small things
love God and celebrate the joy loving Him brings
i've opened my weary eyes to the yellow sunlight
i've accepted "i am who i am" in his righteous sight
and i ain't apologizing for being me....
i'm standing tall, walking upright, swaying my hips
i am energy+positivity+sensuality's daughter's lips
for just when i thought i was a forgotten soldier
my faith has lifted my burdens off of my shoulders
and now i too, feel free....
there is a peace within, that felt strange at first
like a foreign being, had taken over my thirst
and the absence of light that consumed my eyes
broke free this morning when i woke up and realized
"what a beautiful surprise the sunrise is
to those who've lived in darkness"
now, it's so bright.....
i am falling in love with each new day
living my life in a way that even from a distance
you can tell where my fruits lay
did i mention that i am thankful.....
thankful for the second chances and opportunity
thankful for the food of life that feeds me
thankful for the spiritual, the physical and the mental
i am thankful for everything that is uniquely individual
i am holding onto to everything like i am totally greedy
i am pulling closer all of the radiant energies
i am holding onto the joy that is truly mine
for i am a star
how can i not shine?
i am learning more
i am living more
i am accepting that i am a poet
and no longer somebody's puppet
so this thing, whatever it is, i ain't running from it
and i'll use it as my experiment till
i reach the limit...
and i need to write more.....
i need to love more hardcore
i need to give thanks more
i need to sing more
i need to be much more, than my mind
and i need to leave the past, behind
i need to remind myself of where i want to go
and i need to go there...
i need to stop rambling
and i need to find a way to end this poem
i need to go out on a high note
so i think i'll just end this one with one of my
favourite quotes...

"trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not to thine own understanding, but in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path"
Proverbs 3:5-6




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbtVepS53t0

this one is called "the mystery of you"

there you go
love has failed me again
and when things come to an end
i am tempted to remember the beginning….
charming New York streets you found me
wandering – looking for something, anything with passion
never fashioned you would be the one to warm my heart
totally threw me with that seduction part and after you left
memories stayed and stayed, for days.

but again, there you go
love has broken me down
went from just wanting you around
to life being so quiet no more music in my song
and at times like these I start to feel so, so sad
then I think on it some more and i tend to feel mad
but I can’t blame anyone but myself for bringing this fate
i was the one who pulled the trigger on this relationship
but that damn well don’t mean that I don’t feel it.

I probably feel it deeper than you do.

there you go love
walking away in the distance
i know it’s for the best but my heart is putting up resistance
my misery has all but my being consumed
my heart is still pining for this one, mourning for you
I know it’ll be a while before I ever give again
it will be a long way from now 'fore I see the sun shine through the rain
and know that I’ll be missing you too like the desert needs the rain
can't you tell that my soul is still in so much pain?
but I know love never stays where it’s not fanned
I want a man who is gonna unconditionally love this woman
and I want the same for you no question
but loving my best friend was my biggest deception
now alls I can do is gaze at our memories reflection.

I’ll miss you more than words can understand

...transitioning

i need to find someone

someone who i can pass time with...

and not notice the time passing

someone rocksteady

to share a smile or a kind word

to whisper the tune of the hummingbird

soothe my uneasy spirit with an evening visit

to help me pass this trying time
and keep my company's rhyme

to inject laughter where my quiet heart sighs

to know when to sit and listen
and just let me cry

with deep understanding eyes

i'm not lonely just need someone to

pass the time.
that's all.