white

if i had to pick a colour
to describe how i feel
i would choose yellow
because i feel hopeless and hopeful
at the same time
imagine..
not knowing but anticipating
crying but smiling
angry but relieved
man, life is interesting
so if i had to choose a colour
to describe how i feel now
i would pick white
because i feel free
and i've nothing to hide
and i don't mind if people see
my imperfections..

lying in bed staring at the ceiling

in that moment i decided and everything changed...

*

i could've
done more
given more
spread more
bled more
begged more
cried more
gone that extra mile
but i changed
my heart grew tired of trying
and i'm sorry

*

he calls me and calls me and calls me
wants to build a life with me
but when he had me, it just wasn't enough
man, i couldn't make this stuff up
i just don't understand the difference in me
between today and yesterday
that has somehow made me more appealing

*

we are both guilty
of giving up
and not catering
to each others' needs
and that's why i'm not angry
that's why i still love you..

*

she walks into a room
but is so uneasy
are they all staring?
is she, the center of attention and the butt of the jokes?
do they laugh and point
as she walks by?
her heart quickens
she feels nervous
she wants to leave
damn, those seeds of mistrust!

*

you've been ignoring me
we've been holding each other down since we were 16
you have always been my "fall back guy"
and now your new boo has you
i don't even know...
not calling me
i'm not impressed

*

tonight i sleep in our bed alone
i've turned off my cellphone
i don't want to be bothered
'cause tonight i want to sleep in our bed alone

*

oh melody
that will not get out of my head
where are the lullabies
when i need them

*

i write because i can't cry
my words have all dried
it's unfortunate and quite fortunate
at the same time

when the well runs..

we lived
we died
i think i'm
justified
to speak
to shout what
the noise
was about
cause we chose
we rose
we were
misdiagnosed
so now
we bleed
we're freed
pull the seed
it wasn't greed
it was glory
it was always about
the bedtime story
and the riches
and the fame
stays etched
in our flames
cause we lived
we died
and our hearts
both sighed
so let's go
let show
we can be better
so...
oh no
i can't believe
the midnight thief
got caught
by the witches tale
have mercy on
their souls
mr. bale
cause as they say
everything that has
a beginning
has an
end
we raise a glass
and watch the sands from the hourglass...

life is a wonderfully interesting enough journey

life is so interesting..

all of the things i've feared for so long have been taken away from me and i'm slowly realizing that there was no need for fear in the first place....

faith!

everything that has a beginning has an end.

those flowers..

as i go down
i go down hard
i'm not surrendering
i'm just saying cause...

i'm in love
with an impossible dream
that keeps me awake at night
and makes my heart scream

for as i go down
i go down fighting
and i shine as bright as the sun
and strike like a flash of lightening

i don't want to feel it
but i find it hard to let go
of your hand and your heart
and your flag, white as the snow

and as i go down
there's no looking back
and i got all the books and boxes
and that good old 8 track

and i won't call either
or use modern technology
i'll let the picture perfect frame
reflect in a memory

cause as i go down
i'm gone forever
and i won't be coming back
in November..

old man

my grandfather is getting old
i can see it in his face, the hard lines, the tired eyes
yea, he's definitely getting old
and i can hear it in his voice
the meek words and soft laughter

that brings a weary smile to those hard lines and tired eyes

that bore out of a hard lived life.

my grandfather is getting old
for i can feel it in his arms
that once held me tightly, now
barely hang on for a few seconds.....

hoping to feel power in my grip

i wonder,where did those hard lines come from?

as each day passes he ages

i can sense it in his being

not too sure if he's coming or going

existing in these times

computers and gadgets, not too sure of the meaning

just being.

aging.

my grandfather is getting old

i can see it in his walk

inches on by, on his way to church

dressed all big and proud

you would never guess those were his tired eyes

and his quiet laughter that you see in the back of the church would you preacher?

yet, he's there, nothing could keep him away.

please note.

my grandfather is skin and bones

and i don't understand how such a strong spirited man

could gradually just fade away

i don't like it, not one bit!

why must my grandfather grow old?

can't he just stay how he was

patriarchal, strong and proud

a man to admire and fear

a man of great virtue and wisdom

the man i remember?

my heart sinks when i see my grandfather

because every day i live with this fear

that i'll wake up one morning and he is no longer there

that those hard lines would stay transfixed on his face

leaving the last image of him with tired eyes

and a glimpse at a hard lived life that too many forget.

but still, my grandfather is getting old and there's nothing i can do about it.

i feel......powerless