milestones....

just realized that i've made 100 posts! hooray! look at how this beautiful bonebird has grown from a young ingenue into an independent God-fearing woman.......growth never ends.

i believe in myself! i have to......can't.....give....up...now......

in order to reach my 100 i had to publish posts i had as drafts now for a while. i guess i had them as drafts cause i was hmmm....too shy? feeling too exposed? not sure....to unsure to publish before but now stupes, why not nah. i am not ashamed and i have nothing to hide (i think lol)

i am blessed.

gotta change the scheme a bit from here on...how? i don't know. gotta start digging deeper into my soul.

watch out! ya never know when next i might hit ya!

old man

my grandfather is getting old
i can see it in his face, the hard lines, the tired eyes
yea, he's definitely getting old
and i can hear it in his voice
the meek words and soft laughter

that brings a weary smile to those hard lines and tired eyes

that bore out of a hard lived life.

my grandfather is getting old
for i can feel it in his arms
that once held me tightly, now
barely hang on for a few seconds.....

hoping to feel power in my grip

i wonder,where did those hard lines come from?

as each day passes he ages

i can sense it in his being

not too sure if he's coming or going

existing in these times

computers and gadgets, not too sure of the meaning

just being.

aging.

my grandfather is getting old

i can see it in his walk

inches on by, on his way to church

dressed all big and proud

you would never guess those were his tired eyes

and his quiet laughter that you see in the back of the church would you preacher?

yet, he's there, nothing could keep him away.

please note.

my grandfather is skin and bones

and i don't understand how such a strong spirited man

could gradually just fade away

i don't like it, not one bit!

why must my grandfather grow old?

can't he just stay how he was

patriarchal, strong and proud

a man to admire and fear

a man of great virtue and wisdom

the man i remember?

my heart sinks when i see my grandfather

because every day i live with this fear

that i'll wake up one morning and he is no longer there

that those hard lines would stay transfixed on his face

leaving the last image of him with tired eyes

and a glimpse at a hard lived life that too many forget.

but still, my grandfather is getting old and there's nothing i can do about it

i feel......powerless.

mary jane

soft sweet droplets
on my lips your kiss
touches the sky
of my inner thigh
you are, the reason i fly.
imagery, sunset dawning,
morning dew whets
my appetite for you.
daylight passes me -
by i sail on the reefs of sin
she calls my name
her voice sucks me
in. i fight her
but i can't win.
driving me insane
hungry for her touch
on my body
in my soul
outta control she,
me, inside my utopia
i inhale copiously
i trip, falling
into lost memories
your face, her face
surrounded by
images, no escape`
each draw closer
to art's picture
going unnoticed
beautiful in my
mind's eye i slip, i slide
below high. she is
the reason i fly.


DISCLAIMER: The author of this piece in no shape or form condones marijuana abuse. This is simply an expression of art that was inspired by a client.

Gratitude (i wanted to come up with a really deep and artistic title for this but the message is too simple to 'complexify')

(been feeling so many different things recently, losing myself? i don't know but)

i want to thank you for leaving, you taught me how to live without you

i want to thank you for hurting me, you taught me how to be strong and seek God

i want to thank you for the air i breathe, the food i eat, the shelter that keeps me dry and the warmth and love that only a family can give

i want to thank you for leaving me for her, you showed me that i was not the one for you and you were not the one for me either

i want to thank you for sharing your popcorn with me on evenings after school, you taught me how to appreciate kindness

i want to thank you for not judging me even when i didn't think i was worth more

i want to thank you for speaking so negatively about me, it taught me how to ignore gossip

i want to thank you for being my first, it was worth the long wait lol

i want to thank you for bringing me into this world, for giving me a chance at life..

i want to thank you for walking out on your family, it brought me closer to my mother and in the end......you

i want to thank you for sticking around, even though you weren't welcomed

i want to thank you for sharing in my happiness, for a moment there i felt complete

i want to thank you for entering my midst even if it was for a short while, you taught me one of my most important lessons to date........self-worth

i want to thank you for loving me unconditionally, you taught me it was possible...i miss you

i want to thank you for being honest, you taught me what it feels like to be in something real

i want to thank you for providing the shoulder i can cry on, i really needed it over the years and will probably always need it, so don't take it a way

i want to thank you for inspiring me to write, you showed me that i can be more than i ever envisioned

i want to thank you for ups and downs, you taught me how to appreciate my trials

i want to thank you for telling me like it is, a little truth might've hurt a bit but in the end it helped

i want to thank you for not letting go so easily, you showed me that some things are worth fighting for

i want to thank you for walking a way so easily, you showed me that what God wants for me trumps anything i may think i need for myself

i want to thank you for ignoring me when i begged you to stay, you taught me that i never have to fight for anything that is really mine

i want to thank you for opening my mind to music, even though we're strangers now i will never lose my inspiration

i want to thank those lies, they taught me how to try to speak the truth always, even when it hurts, even when i am showing my weaknesses, i can close my eyes at night knowing that what i said was honest and from the heart and no one can take that a way from me

i want to thank you for jealousy, you taught me to appreciate that i am beautifully made even when i don't always fit the standard

i want to thank you for my failures, you taught me how to rejoice in my successes more

i want to thank you for second chances and countless more mistakes, as long as i don't keep repeating the same old ones i should be in good standing

i want to thank you for those jokes you told me everyday in my sad days, sometimes it was the only laugh i could muster and yet they were the corniest jokes i have ever heard, thank you for being there come rain, come shine...

i want to thank you for friends i have lost over the years, i know they are the angels watching over me

i want to thank you for my mother, she is my air in the morning, she is my quick call in the afternoon to say hello and she is in my prayer at night, she is like my spiritual backbone.

thank you.

30 seconds to God.

just breathe
even when it feels like your world's crashing in
when there's nowhere to hide
just breathe.....it'll be alright
for the Lord knows your sorrows
he knows your burdens too
breathe easy knowing he's always there for you
i am glad i've come to realize
the precious gift he gave
now i know the true meaning of
beautifully made
so just breathe.....


(i think i need a break from all of this writing. everything is confused. more times......)

his eyes

have you ever met someone.....
that totally flipped your world around?
made your red turn to yellow, what was day became night
what was silence became..........sound?

touched your skin in a way......
a way like no hands have touched before
had eyes you could get lost in
a taste just mouth watering
had that 'thing'.......you've been longing for?

made you listen to music.....
in a different way changed your walk to make your hips sway
just in case he was looking. while you looked back
when you were walking a way to see if he
was looking back at you the same way
then blush when your eyes caught him
and his caught yours.....

his voice
that voice took your breath....
sent shivers down your breast
yes, yes, YESSSS
right there babe. right there.
(exhale)
he knew how to hit the spot
every time....ready or not
it sure is getting hot....in here

have you ......

seen cocoa rich eyes
that saw through to your soul
saw in you someone he could grow old....with
held onto your gaze like it was one to cherish
mesmerized by the dreams he could see inside you
and you held on too....to get the same....view
those eyes captivated you.....from the start
two heart.....beats. beating on one solid rhythm
ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum.....

those eyes that still haunt you
that you're still scared to look into
that you can't seem to run from
those eyes that you only see when
you browse through those old albums
those eyes were his eyes......

sex after 6.

......as my heart beat quickens and he has that look in his eye i know is it that time. that time for some soulful, some earth shattering eyes rolled to the back of my head i'm talking knees shaking, body trembling, nervous anticipation for the good loving session my man is 'bout to give me.

.....and i can't breathe, no words could ever describe this feeling as i wait for him been waiting all day longing for him. done got ma' nails did ma' hair right it's gonna be on and popping tonight, damn! do it right baby, do it tight. this feeling is frightening and exciting at the same time, my man has a rhyme and a rhythm all on his own........

.....lights out for some sex after 6 in the love zone.

rhetoric 25

what are words?
what are feelings?
what are beginnings and endings?

what is life?
what is the justification to your actions?
what are endless contradictions and coincidences?

what are secrets?
what are lies and alibis?
what does the devil look like in disguise?

what is pain?
what is this heavy feeling in my chest?
what are years of hard work and commitment?

what are memories?
what is the sound of emptiness?
what is this bellowing in my heart where the music used to be?

what was our song?
what is that look on your face?
how is it that you walk a way so easily?

what was her name again?
what are sad good-byes?
what are concrete tears when i know i am crying inside?

what is two minutes a way from yesterday?
what are sleepless nights and wasted days?
what is i love you when you find the courage to walk a way?

what am i to you?