rambling

i'm not who i used to be
i'm changing..rearranging
shifting hemispheres and consciousness
subconsciously working overtime
perennial war in my mind
i'm not who i use to be
i see different
smell different
talk differently
my vernacular has veered off
inconsistently
i'm uncomfortable
miserable
i'm not who i used to be
i am running
getting tired
walking
dragging my feet
i feel weak
and my head hurts
thinking
too much thinking
i miss the self i was
when i was myself.
recently
i've been missing who i used to be...

rhetoric 25

what are words?
what are feelings?
what are beginnings and endings?

what is life?
what is the justification to your actions?
what are endless contradictions and coincidences?

what are secrets?
what are lies and alibis?
what does the devil look like in disguise?

what is pain?
what is this heavy feeling in my chest?
what are years of hard work and commitment?

what are memories?
what is the sound of emptiness?
what is this bellowing in my heart where the music used to be?

what was our song?
what is that look on your face?
how is it that you walk a way so easily?

what was her name again?
what are sad good-byes?
what are concrete tears when i know i am crying inside?

what is two minutes a way from yesterday?
what are sleepless nights and wasted days?
what is i love you when you find the courage to walk a way?

what am i to you?