sunday's sighs

feels like i got something stuck in my throat...

like my heart is beating so fast it's pulsating to a salsa rhythm...

it's hurting...

feels like every breath could be my last...

grasping...

but barely...

kinda feels like i'm going deaf in one ear....

like there are these chains on my heart weighing it down....

so heavy....

whatever it is i want it off me...

feels like i could sit here and let my tears flow until they dry....

till there's not a wet eye on my face....

at a pace too fast to keep up....

feels like someone's poured the water outta my cup..

empty.

that's it....

i feel empty.

feels like i have nothing more to give...

but only for the moment....

my mindset tells me i will triumph...

feels like that day is so far away....

like i've been waiting for a smile to float my way....

feels like i've got nothing more to say yet so much...

feels like i won't get no peace till i get everything out...

like my mouth's been duct taped for 2 long years...

nearly 3....

feels like agony....

smells like something rotten....

sounds like the moans of the forgotten..

looks like me...

sadly.



12-07-08

..dig...

loving you...
makes me feel weak
weren't you the one who used to
set my soul on fire with music?

the apple
between my needle eye
damn, weren't you that guy..
to elevate me to cloud nine highs
sing my spirit to sleep with your lullabies

inspire me
to put pen to paper to verse
and then hide those same notes from you of course..

then why
does my foundation seem so uneven?
why am i asking all of these questions?
aren't we suppose to be "in love"
i'm starting to wonder...
what we're truly made of.

tonight i feel
like i'm all used up and melancholy
and the sparks that flew have flown off
and died down already

too soon, i say too soon...

loving you
makes me feel weak
weren't you the one to put music to my feet?
whisper words that were ummm ummm sweet
i wanted to lick them with my tongue
damn, i could've sworn we belonged

but i
can't make you love me in the way
that is unconditional, and i can't stay anymore
if our love is not official

and i understand now..
wrap my heart up with a bandage
two lovers can't make love speaking love
with different languages......cause

loving you
makes me feel weak
makes me feel like i don't deserve the love
other poets speak of.

should i stay and take whatever?

shouldn't i
question you or god forbid my nagging
ignore all the boasting and the bragging
from others who have something

something real
something worth holding onto
i'm so tired of all of these rhymes i write
that somehow lead me back to you

and here i go again
with another long monologue
trying to find answers to many questions
in my own dialogue

and my little voice has stopped talking to me..

has karma finally
caught up to my offenses
am i wasting your time with all
of these monotonous sentences..

loving you
makes me feel so weak
and you never listen to the words i speak..

i sometimes feel
you're too lazy, not willing to go the extra mile
you do whatever you want to do and that just ain't my style

a girl's got to have
support and a shoulder to lean on
and everyday should be spent happier than
the last one..

it's about
communication
soul sensations
mind meditations
honesty and respect
it should feel
so good
so pure
so satisfying and patient

but...

loving you
makes me feel weaker
i used to think you were a keeper
now i don't know what's real
yet i know i need something a lil deeper

to paint my soul
with colours that are blinding
and make my heart a-tingle
with the light our love is shining

i need to take some time, some time
and really think this through, this through
i've never been a quitter matter of a fact
i've worked much harder since you, since you

but the love i have to give
is worth more than happiness 'sometimes'
and i think the day has come when i should stop
wasting your time....

..and mine.

loving you makes me feel weak and that's the reason.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9l17XR74Ts