Everyday.

i think about you

i pray for you

i long for you

i make wishes for you

i laugh for you

i write to you

i sing songs for you

i smell like you

i breathe for you

i sigh for you

i get mad for you

i frown for you

i clown around for you

i beat for you

i speak for you

i am for you

i sacrifice for you

i lie for you..if i have to..

i think of you

i think on you

i think about you

everyday..

..bubbles...

floating across

the clear blue sky

i see you

somewhere between 

my needle eye.

we hold onto

that same gaze

and get lost in

this purple haze.

of magical wonders

and weightless dreams

and flying saucers

and moonbeams.

i see you

standing

dressed in white

your silhouette dancing

in the moonlight.

i often wonder

why you creep

into my thoughts

when i'm asleep?

floating across

my mind's eye

and whispering

lullabies.

sunlight's beauty

dew drop

splendor

honey comb drips

between my fingers.

i see you

everywhere

in my mind's mirror

reflecting the light

and making me quiver.

i see you always

in my heart's gold

forever dreaming

until we're old.

like the wind...

my grandfather is...
drawing his last breaths
taking his last steps..
my grandfather is..
weak, finds it hard to
completes his sentences...
my grandfather is..
losing his drive
every morning could be
the beginning of the end of
his life..
my grandfather
hardly talks
chasing life he stalks
all day.

I took some multi-symptoms

i took some multi-symptoms
now i feel so groggy
my body feels so out of sync
and my glasses seem so foggy.

i wasn't feeling well last night
so i took a pill, no two
was hoping to fall so soundly to sleep
and wake up feeling brand new

but i fear those multi-symptoms
have reversed my natural being
i'm still in bed, it's half past 3
and i ain't done my Christmas cleaning

i feel like i am flying high
and lost somewhere in outer space
my mind is stuck inside a vacuum
but my body is floating all over the place

these pills they make you do strange things
and hear some weird things too
i could've sworn i was in wonderland
or elsewhere with Mr. Magoo

i took some multi-symptoms
but next time i'll take just one
and choose a day when i have time to play
and lie and gaze at the sun.

sunday's sighs

feels like i got something stuck in my throat...

like my heart is beating so fast it's pulsating to a salsa rhythm...

it's hurting...

feels like every breath could be my last...

grasping...

but barely...

kinda feels like i'm going deaf in one ear....

like there are these chains on my heart weighing it down....

so heavy....

whatever it is i want it off me...

feels like i could sit here and let my tears flow until they dry....

till there's not a wet eye on my face....

at a pace too fast to keep up....

feels like someone's poured the water outta my cup..

empty.

that's it....

i feel empty.

feels like i have nothing more to give...

but only for the moment....

my mindset tells me i will triumph...

feels like that day is so far away....

like i've been waiting for a smile to float my way....

feels like i've got nothing more to say yet so much...

feels like i won't get no peace till i get everything out...

like my mouth's been duct taped for 2 long years...

nearly 3....

feels like agony....

smells like something rotten....

sounds like the moans of the forgotten..

looks like me...

sadly.



12-07-08

red nail polish and Mocha's eyes