high cheeks

she is happy

and she sounds giddy

and so deliriously

in love.

she says she's doing it

differently, cautiously

but yet amazingly giddy

about the possibility

and she is happy

she has grown, she

says so has he

and they will grow

together

in love.

yippee! no..

HOORAY!

feels good to hear say

how she feels

it's so good that she's

found something real

something that makes

her giddy with excitement

so now i'm sappy

'cause i know she's

happy and falling deeply

in love.

with a man she

always knew.

oh when love is new

it is ab-so-lute-ly blue

and green and yellow

it is mellow and great

good things definitely come

to those who wait for

those good things and she

deserves to be happy

and giddy, with cheeks to

the sky and now i

am smiling just

thinking of her...

For Enomis

forgotten times

taken for granted

her soul breaks free

have you heard about

the forgotten girl?

she spends her time

walking down lonely corridors

where's its dark. it's rumored

no one's been there for years.

and she keeps these secrets

only whispering to the trees

watching the butterfly flap its wings

in the stillness of the day.

what is a second worth?

or an hour or two

she gets by through faith

but that too is fading...

and it's so cold out here

and there's no shelter here

and there's no food or water

to sustain the forgotten.

have you heard about

the ghost of a girl

that wanders lonely corridors

looking..

cause she can't understand

and she doesn't seem to try

to see that she is only lonely

because she chooses to be.

i am ready.

i am ready..

i am ready to begin

to begin..

i am ready

i am nervous nervously

ready to begin..

something.

i am happy..

sad joyous worrisome

depressed anxious glowing..

all these wonderful things that

make me human..

make me a woman.

i am ready..

ready to take on

whatever it brings without

taking out parts of me

or sacrificing my dignity

cause i am ready..

i am ready..

to step into dark waters

to jump in head first

i am breaking the curse

of self-doubt

cause i know what i'm all about.

i am ready..

eager but taking it slowly

as i don't want to miss

miss a single moment

of this journey..

see, i am ready..

ready to begin

no resting, no waiting,

no running, no bunning

just some suntan and the waves

at my feet..

i feel sweet.

i am ready?..

i think so

only God knows but

i think i could be

steady if i believed more..

i am ready!

i am ready..

i am going to go

where the winds dare take me

won't be caught off-guard

or in a trance..

i was born to dance.

born to soar

i am ready to go..

somewhere.

for MJ..

sad eyes

quiet peace

now you're gone

but the noise won't cease

rest in peace (if you can).

feelin' my..

i had a dream last night

that your love wasn't there

that the recession hadn't ended

and we'd never heard of Lilith fair

that my mother'd forgotten me

that my daddy'd forsaken me

that my friends didn't even recognize me

and i was drowning in a sorrow pool

i dreamt that is was so cold

the cold war had restarted

we'd invaded Africa

bomb the f out of them like Hiroshima

and i was lost in Somalia

crying with the children

running with lions and bears

gazelles being eaten crossing the water

so i went thirsty for days and weeks

years since i'd had a perm

wriggling through life like a worm

blessed with wings so i could fly

but afraid to lift off..

i dreamt that madoff was walking free

laughing at the white collar cacophony

man life was a comedy

that was my dream...

and

i

woke

up

shaking...

nothing..

i've forgotten how to write words

strum cords, play notes

i've barely enough words now to keep me afloat

i've lost the vote, the know how

that drive to write words

play notes, rhyme a verse

though my heart moves me to chorus

i can't find the thoughts, peace together the pieces

to create something worth writing

i've lost that biting, the itching

i don't have the drive to write nothing

man, it's f-ing with my mentality

damn! it hasn't found me

i don't even know if it's still looking for me :(

that bug that stings and lights a fire

in the mind in the fingers that perspires

thought patterns

imagery

writing...

i don't know where to start writing

words that form sentences that form

lines upon lines upon lines...

of feelings, thoughts and lies

i'm starting to despise other writers

who have what i want, what i need

i don't know how to let my mind bleed

new poems

sigh..

i've forgotten how to write words

tap dance or swing on a pole

(don't take that much skill anyways i'm told)

it's been too long and i'm strung out on

stale words, old adverbs and thoughts belonging

to a woman i hardly know

man, i don't know

where to start, how to begin

another poem

and feel, like a nothinghead.

..yellow...

as the warm sunlight

hits on hearts

hits on hands

from grains of sand

god brought this man

and this woman together

for one purpose

LOVE....

in his mind

and in his image

this yellow bird has flown..

this earth brother

has been molded...

to fit each other

the winds of change

that brought together

and could never keep apart.

two beings

one infinite connection

always guiding

and protecting

withstanding

trials

tribulations

(even the recession)

what a blessing!

what a miracle

not even predicted by the oracle

but magical and bright

that this hummingbird

could shine so much light

it's blinding

it's beautiful

water that love seed people

and fulfill your

purpose.

For Lia and Kalani...

when life hands you lemons squeeze um'

scared..but i don't mind

i don't even know what to expect half the time

late..but i don't miss a thing

a habit i got from my mother's up-bringing

honest...with everyone

you might win some but you never lose the one you bare your soul to..

jealous...sometimes

it's no one's fault but my own, my worth should not be determined by others or by the superficial....still battling...

loving...unconditionally

and i'm never ever ashamed to count the many ways you can love an individual how you can love a friend, family, animal...love is so complex yet to me our ability to love is what defines us as humans...

you know what? i love being alive! and what do i love even more than being alive? being a woman!

the changes i experience, the frustrations and joys are so fulfilling once i appreciate the lesson in the lesson...

...it's like i am always changing, always searching for ways to be better, to improve, to maximize my potential...as i grow older i love hard, give harder, take lesser, expect little, but i don't mind, someone has to.

toodles. 

sleepy.

foolish games

and calling names

driving in the rain

after midnight

but i can't be blue

or mad or screw

oh no, i can't be pissed off at you 

cause i'm more pissed at myself!

i have decided that i will start avoiding people who emit negative energy.  i want to surround myself with sunshine....

...was in a room today and for some strange reason a co-worker took it upon herself to engage me in some afternoon gossip....ppppffftttt...haven't got the time...i'm busy dreamin'

random

i have not had the inspiration to write anything (of quality) in a very long time and that makes me sad...

my subconscious shows me things that i didn't even know existed inside of me, so in those times when i feel like i don't know myself all i have to do is lay in my bed and let my dreams show me....

i hate the smell of boiled chicken necks.

eNErgY

what's the deal?

are we high? are we low?

i need to know what's real 

brotha, don't leave a sista hanging

i rap to you, you rap to me

like a 3 round knockout

can't find that middle tree

to plant that love seed

some brothas don't like it

when sistas express that goodgood love 

they view it as a weakness

but hear this, i ain't ashamed, i ain't afraid and i ain't going anywhere

still this energy, this energy

is taking a way that light

i don't want to lose that part of me

brotha, step up to the mic..

and check yourself!

medium

she breaks an awkward silence

and tames the inner voice

she makes a mean linguine

and her legs are oh so skinny

she said she thinks she lost it

long before she realized she had it

her beauty waltzes across the room

the brides shield her from their grooms

she has a habit of nesting

in spaces too small to rest in

and opens door number three

i wonder if she's looking for me?

she won't admit that she's scared

doesn't dare to whisper her fears

for the trees are always a-listening

and the winds are always a-whistling

she finds it so hard to sleep

shadows in her dark thoughts creep

reminding her of her tumultuous life

now where did she put the butter knife?

she's tired of love and blah blah

rather listen to take me on, aha!

and get lost in the space between

the world we see and reality

wonders if she's that invisible

do her questions make you miserable?

she's got to be more on time

get her rhythm in tune with her rhyme

she finds herself staring at the mirror

her eyes' refraction makes her soul quiver

searching for answers only God knows

clearly, she forgot to cream her elbows

yet, she just stands there lost in a stare

gazing at the broken memory that brought her there

lost somewhere in that space in-between

a child and a woman's hopeless dream.

vibes

he said a line

sang a verse

moved my spirit to chorus

made my heart stand at attention

gave my body a round of applause

gave me wings so i could fly

just cause.

suga

my life with you

takes me on such sweet highs

and at night when i lay to sleep

i sigh such sweet sighs

of dreams and fantasies

and imaginary hope

your clouds are the soft smooth

pillows, on which i float

you inspire me...

to write for endless days

to break down this barrier

that has kept me caged

like a bird's broken feather

falling to the floor

the freedom to be

what i wasn't before

why me? why us? why not

anyone else?

i often question this feeling

i know i shouldn't, but i can't help

help! i often cried 

when our vision wasn't quite clear

i've been waiting for a while now

for you to take me there

to that place as i said

that moves my fancy feet 

only planned on dipping my toes

but now i'm in, skin deep

ooooooh, so sweet

with those lips like suga...

send shivers down my spine

i feel so good inside my bones

don't break this heart of mine

cause

my life with you is all i need.

now go on brotha...plant that seed

of longevity.

threads..(the New York edition)

i miss new york

i miss taking the train to work

i miss my independence.

i miss motivation

i miss dedication

i miss my self-confidence.

i miss morning bagels

i miss rush hour traffic

i miss fall colours.

i miss paying my way

i miss laughing all the way to the bank

i miss broadway plays.

i miss gran gran's split peas and oxtails

i miss my granddaddy and his baseball games. go Yankees!

i miss sundays.

i miss treasury

i miss 3rd and 41st manhattan

i miss fruit cups from the cafe.

i miss April, Camesha, Jan and Fay

i miss movie premiers

i miss those village fairs

i miss poetry night on astor place.

i miss long distance conversation

i miss short trips and anticipation

i miss that heart music.

i miss those blistering summers

i miss those hypothermic winters

the cool breeze of spring

the weather was my mood ring.

i miss new york

i miss that free feeling

i miss everything...

i miss everything.

static

she's tall for her age

no more than two dozen plus four

silently slithers slowly to the stage

watch your step! remember first impressions

caressing that mic like it's Oscar night's speech 

speak. images, Apollo's show-time in her mind space

nervousness, anxiety, hello panic attack, the pressure

should she? lights dimming, she commands the air's attention

at last. silence. takes her four quick breaths five seconds to begin

there she's trying to think whether they can see her hesitation, her 

self doubt.  tells herself "go on sister girl, it's your show, your time..rhyme"

spew beats the Beatnuts would wanna wreck, better yet rhyme harder, stronger

heartbeat louder than the bass guitar playing in the back you'd think it was a heart solo

finally, fear's facade fades, this Goddess let's her tongue speak her truth that has been tied

her words, her thoughts, her feelings, her core, her fears, her pains, her loves, lovers, her joys

she talked the talk to back up that walk that led her on that stage in the first place 

she engages, she enrages, paints pictures so her message can be relayed later to others

she dangerously dances with themes that they can relate to,  can feel so this ex-

perience is also so real to them, she shoots them with her agony's aim, bang!

she electrifies their energies with her passion, damn! they shout out 

say it again.  she's getting high off their synergy and wants to stay

wants to absorb as much of the atmosphere as she can

wants to get inspiration and go again right there

ye, second round usually lasts longer, stronger

she's a stronger woman five minutes later

since those words left her lip's lisp

guess her height knew her secret.

(started 06/16/08 finished just now)

electricity

i am waiting to be found by you

so 

seek me

i long to be adored by you

so

idolize me

i want to be your obsession  

so 

stalk me

i want you to be in my memories

so

haunt me

i don't care if i'm in your mouth

go ahead

swallow me 

i don't mind you being everywhere i am

so

follow me

i could fancy talking to you forever

try

getting to know me

i want you to be in my smiles

so

tickle me

i long to be wherever you are

so

let's juxtapose

and learn the ways of our hearts

beneath the surface

i suppose

i want you to come looking for me

please

i won't hide

come seek the magic

in the circus 

of these searching eyes...

that saw you.

Untitled.

A piece in my Native Barbadian (Bajan) Language about something that is truly hitting home (but i can't seem to think of the right title)

so i rush down dey tah see

wah de noise did all about 

cause dat one sophie

wun't stop lickin' she mout

she say dat one curly

put he hand in ruth face

an' did dragging an' lickin' bout she body

all ova de place

all i cud tink was

dis happening tah she again?

he rite if he kill she..

but then just den.

i had tah stop an' tink

well suppose dat was my girl child

i wudn't want nah man

beatin' bout my chile

wah does give dem de right

tah be de judge an' de jury

only a soft man is use he fists

an' lay hands pun a lady

we gotta start using we mout

to put a end tah dis domestic violence

now is de time tah ack

fore we voice get forever silence.

so i went an' help up poor ruth

an' threw my shoe at curly

if dey need a witness in court

ya best believe i gun be down dey bright an' early

it gotta start wid me

hopefully odders wud catch on..

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A CRIME!

an' should be experienced by no one.

is tek a coward to use he hands

an' a strong man to walk way

i pray fah all my sisters, mothers an' friends

an' encourage wunna to join me wen i say....

ENOUGH!

(started 12-19-08 and evolved today)

word art.

i've got chocolate hands

thick brown lips

i'm a slouching black woman with no hips!

i got some thick hair

a lil backside

that summer flavor and Caribbean pride.

i can't sing a note

to save my life

but i know someday i'd make you a good wife.

and i love children

their snotty nose

and their ten fingers and ten toes.

the house don't matter

once the mortgage's paid

and the walls are sturdy and the foundation's well laid.

i've got that good love

and much more to give

these chocolate hands seem small but they're really big.

and they'll welcome you

after a long day

and hold you tightly, till those work blues go away.

ears that will listen

i've got a golden heart

that can open it's doors for you, if you want.

but i can't really cook 

though i bake well

i'd have the house bubbling with that sweet bread smell.

my family's a keeper

and i'll mesh into yours

till death do us part, from singular to ours.

did i mention

that i love animals?

i'd always dreamt of living on a farm with many mammals.

i've got some dreams

and visions so visionary

i'd like to share them someday, if you let me.

anything else

you may want to know

will reveal itself, as together we grow.

so let me know

if you like this package 

you can give me a call or send an email message.

p.s. - i come with no baggage.

(written 01-15-09)

it came to me in a dream

i present to you

crazy eyes 

with champagne pockets

and butterflies..

mary mary

tumbling hill

blue rainbows

and yellow pills..

falling down

but backwards

climbing up

afterwards...

ironic irony

sad good-byes

liquid dreams

and crystallize..

all the kings horses

and symmetry

lost in a maze

of melody..

and i to you

and crowded rooms

and witches east

and west brooms..

with champagne pockets

and butterflies

i present to you

crazy eyes...

ad-Lib

i used to be scared of the sunlight
the darkness held all of my deepest secrets..
..hid all of the things i didn't want to see
even from me...yes, that place void of light
made me feel safe.

looking back through old memories
makes me ponder where i am now
stuck in the twilight noon of a past
i hate to remember, a past filled with so much anger
i could SCREAM...

i used to be scared of the sunlight
scared that they too might see
i am really a nobody..and nobody ever sees me..
the way i am..i couldn't even see myself in the darkness
but i was comfortable with that.

what makes us who we are?
what drives us to stay, or go or get stuck?
what drives others' actions and
what are the answers?

i used to love the calmness of night time
the stillness of my bedroom where only i felt my tears
only i could quieten the wailing of my heart
where only i could comfort my discomfort
where i could breathe.

on a night like tonight
i feel like nothing's changed and it makes me feel sad at first
but then angry...why me? why not me? why at all?
i wanna stand so tall, so brave so mighty!
but i can't stand failing miserably.

i used to be so scared of the sun's glow
of everything being at the surface
of my imperfections being on display
still, i took a chance and i stepped out of the shadows
fearless...

i'd felt like i was on top of the world
felt like the sweetest chocolate high
but all my bravado has really showed me was
that the darkness was the last place where i was truly happy...
so...return there.

in my mind.

there is an eerie

silence that has

existed in this 

space since as

far back as i

can remember...

they're howling

winds and cold

winter chills

in the middle

of summer

in this room...

two warm bo-

dies have got-

ten used to

the monoto-

ny of walk-

ing past each

other in silence..

this room is

so dark in the

afternoon the 

silence of this

moment is tea-

ring apart my

outer skin...

i guess i'm not as hardcore as i believed

(damn! i've been deceived by my subconscious)

yet this weird

noiseless va-

cuum behind 

the door of 

that room is 

the only place

i feel like i

am not 

pretending...

(written a long time ago)

poetry, poetry, poetry

words, sounds, music

letters, scores, lyrics

verbal, mental, physical

crowded, lonely, individual

verses, stanzas, phrases

lines, paragraphs, pages

sour, bitter, sweet

cold, warm, heat

stage, platform, lights

noon, day, midnight

islands, cities, continents

foreign, local, inhabitants

odes, epics, haikus

ballads, narrative, senryu

rap, alternative, neo-soul

reggae, jazz, calypso

artist, performer, writer

eyes, audience, listener

feeling, breathing, beating

story, telling, speaking

heart, soul, mind

poetry is the universal breath of mankind.

what i feel.

if i could only reach you
teach you the inner and
outer workings of my heart
hold your hand from start to
finish, smile and let your
fears diminish...
i would.

if i could only let you feel
steel melting into gold sands
that trickle through hands
i long to feel embrace
my soul and erase all the ashes your
fire has left...
i would.

if only i could make you understand
man and woman together, is musical
in any weather once the chords are
right, light is bright, the grips are
tight and the loving is, you know,
dynamite! love can be the new
drug...
i would.

i would.

but i have closed the door
on those memories that made
me soar on wings of forever more
i have walked a mile in my mind to
separate the time and place where
we met, yet, i just can't let myself
forget the music...

if only i could reach you
send telepathic messages
to you to make you
understand what i feel...
what i feel..
what i feel.

intersect

i got a call on my phone today
from a man named mr. brown
said he could hear my weary heartbeat
halfway across the town.

"oh, you've got to be kidding" i said

he said "i kid you not!"

said i'd woke him out of his sleep
since half past 2 o'clock.

"so what is it that troubles you dear
as i'm already up
i'm willing to let you talk off my ear
till your weary heart shuts up"

"well, mr. brown you see it's that
i've been dragged down to the ground
i've lost the music of my soul
and the cool jazz in my sound"

"do you know the secret" he said
"to inner happiness?
it's found in recognizing the beauty within
and the wonders you possess."

"it's in the smallest of things
the atom of a sunrise
it's in the knowledge of recognising
truth lies within one's eyes."

with words like these i started to feel
like i could make it through

"Mr. Brown i'm so very glad
my beating heart found you"

"now rest your weary heart my dear
and let you mind be free
with a soul so pure and precious as yours
you will create your own melody."

"remember that you are beautiful
your essence is a rare birth
don't ever settle for a glass half empty
when a full one is what you're worth."

"thank you, thank you mr. brown
your words i shall forever keep!"

"and now that your beating heart has calmed my dear,
i think i'll go catch up on some sleep!"

the end.