untitled (i suppose)

that's the way love goes

(i suppose)

you meet

wine and dine

you sleep together.

you quarrel

you talk

you regret what you said.

you miss each other

you laugh together

you plan a future.

that's the way love goes?

(God only knows)

i sure don't.

on hawthorne street..

somewhere

between an echo

and good-bye

in the cosmos

of the sky

and the twinkling

of an eye

i found..

something

floating in the

sargasso

like a spirited

adagio

smooth

like a piano

i found..

blinding lights

and multicolor

warm bread

and awakened

flowers

fresh march

showers

timeless hours

i found...

chocolate filled

deep rich

soil mixed

alcohol freedom

a cocktail

of praisejoy

redemption

looking back

in the mirror's

reflection

i found

Vanya.

2:14 am

no warm body in my bed

is that why i can't sleep?

watching the pendulum swing

on that old grandfather clock?

how much time left has he got?

what are the marvelous adventures

that run through his mind?

why can't he tell them to me?

why can't i live through

his memories?

oh sweet old man

there's no place i'd rather be

and nothing i'd rather do

than wait on you hand and body

until you're called

until you find your peace

until the voices are silenced

and you can finally get

a good night's sleep

i guess we're in the same boat

is that why i can't sleep?

mama

oh mama

i miss you

you're miles away

but always on my mind

i'll see you soon

where the sun shines

and the joy of your heart seeps into mine.

quasi happiness

i am

whoever you say i am!

in that time

in that space

in that emotion

words that can't be erased

words that can't be taken away

once they've been given

truth speaks volumes when the colour is red

truth reeks the truth when they're laced with hatred

truth hurts too when it's said by you know who

telling you what you are in that moment..

then the colour fades

the soldiers retreat

words of anger turn to words of sweet-ness

words that just don't stick

that just don't ring true

truth is, we're both guilty of this too

truth is we don't even know who we were then

people we wouldn't recognize on replay

truth is i ain't apologizing for what i've said

and i ain't apologizing for being me.

(neither should you)

haven't changed much since you found me

so i wonder then, who's changed, who hasn't?

(and who is resistant?)

she keeps on..

love:evolving (how things change)

i don't know

why these things happen

why the feelings once had now seem forgotten

trying to find

the right words to say

to justify my reasons for walking away

questions, answers?

nobody knows

why we struggle so hard to make something grow?

something once magical

now gone up in smoke

the ashes from the flames now leave us to choke

it's not the words

the emails or letters

it's the picture torn to pieces in that fit of anger

the gap that has left

this writer feeling blocked

as her thoughts she's been keeping in a box

i don't know why

i could never express

the way i felt through our emptiness

no words, i've no sounds

to really explain

so i guess i'll have to write that love letter again

to the lover i had

that was oh so sweet

the notes in my words of my heartbeats

i can't explain

why we couldn't make it through

and i don't want to end it with corny "i love yous"

but i'll say this much

i just don't know why it is

that quiet recognition i found before still lives...

in you.

once a man, twice..

she was a sly girl

sneaking in like a thief in the night

stole his mind over wine and some kinky conversation

weak he was, in the knees

couldn't eat, couldn't sleep

left him babbling at her beauty she,

knew what she was doing

in a world filled with darkness

so cold where she lives

made him gave up his family

to go play house with a stranger

which made him stranger

slimy slithery snake

all she ever did was take take

take.

what wasn't hers

what was left of his memory

she hid in a box

her selfish way of keeping you to herself

damn her to hell! damn her...

and that wife that you left at home moans

over church hymns

wondering when you will come back...