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i used to be scared of the sunlight
the darkness held all of my deepest secrets..
..hid all of the things i didn't want to see
even from me...yes, that place void of light
made me feel safe.

looking back through old memories
makes me ponder where i am now
stuck in the twilight noon of a past
i hate to remember, a past filled with so much anger
i could SCREAM...

i used to be scared of the sunlight
scared that they too might see
i am really a nobody..and nobody ever sees me..
the way i am..i couldn't even see myself in the darkness
but i was comfortable with that.

what makes us who we are?
what drives us to stay, or go or get stuck?
what drives others' actions and
what are the answers?

i used to love the calmness of night time
the stillness of my bedroom where only i felt my tears
only i could quieten the wailing of my heart
where only i could comfort my discomfort
where i could breathe.

on a night like tonight
i feel like nothing's changed and it makes me feel sad at first
but then angry...why me? why not me? why at all?
i wanna stand so tall, so brave so mighty!
but i can't stand failing miserably.

i used to be so scared of the sun's glow
of everything being at the surface
of my imperfections being on display
still, i took a chance and i stepped out of the shadows
fearless...

i'd felt like i was on top of the world
felt like the sweetest chocolate high
but all my bravado has really showed me was
that the darkness was the last place where i was truly happy...
so...return there.