lying in bed staring at the ceiling

in that moment i decided and everything changed...

*

i could've
done more
given more
spread more
bled more
begged more
cried more
gone that extra mile
but i changed
my heart grew tired of trying
and i'm sorry

*

he calls me and calls me and calls me
wants to build a life with me
but when he had me, it just wasn't enough
man, i couldn't make this stuff up
i just don't understand the difference in me
between today and yesterday
that has somehow made me more appealing

*

we are both guilty
of giving up
and not catering
to each others' needs
and that's why i'm not angry
that's why i still love you..

*

she walks into a room
but is so uneasy
are they all staring?
is she, the center of attention and the butt of the jokes?
do they laugh and point
as she walks by?
her heart quickens
she feels nervous
she wants to leave
damn, those seeds of mistrust!

*

you've been ignoring me
we've been holding each other down since we were 16
you have always been my "fall back guy"
and now your new boo has you
i don't even know...
not calling me
i'm not impressed

*

tonight i sleep in our bed alone
i've turned off my cellphone
i don't want to be bothered
'cause tonight i want to sleep in our bed alone

*

oh melody
that will not get out of my head
where are the lullabies
when i need them

*

i write because i can't cry
my words have all dried
it's unfortunate and quite fortunate
at the same time