sunset lows (i catch when you throw)

i am SCREAMING
in my sound proof room
my soul is pining for you
i can't breathe i can't live i can't be
i can't wake i can't talk i can't eat
i feel weak
i feel like my core is dying
there's no reason why i should be crying
there is no reason why i should be losing sleep
a friend once said 'speak what you seek'
do you know how those words affect me?
well i can't say it any louder
i want to be free for us to be
these are the days of our lives
but i feel like i'm down to my last life line
the beats of my heart are bumping outta tune
and my tears are over-flowing and flooding out the room
and i screamed all last night in my sleep
and you're lying next to me yet you didn't hear me weep
i could as well spend my nights alone
where the sun's rays hit and the moonlight's shone
cause if you can't rescue me then who
i don't want to start drifting a way from you
i know i want you and i know what i need
but i need your energy on which to feed
i need your strength to help keep my spirit alive
it is your rock on which i scribe
i need you i choose you i feel you
i need you to need me and feel me too
how else can i say what is real in my heart
this war is slowly bleeding my art
and i'm afraid of moving on without you....

IS?

is it the way you smile when i walk in the room?
is it the way you bring life to my spirit and soul?
it is the way you take control of my mood and shift me to a brighter attitude?

is it you?

is it you that wakes me up in the morning to live a new day?
is it you that challenges me and takes me to higher planes?
is it you that listens and never gets tired of my complaints?

is it you?

that has the power to move hills and mountains?
that commands the waters that run in rivers and fountains?
that gives life to every living thing and living being?
that i believe in though i've never seen?

ye it must be..

the God of the valley
the bright and morning star
you are everywhere and in everything
giving me the spiritual energy to bring joy to my sadness
and hope to my wavering, wandering being.

lovEBound

i am hungry
i am thirsty for you
i am breathing you....in and out
of my mouth. you know what i'm talking 'bout
it's about you and how you make me do
all the things i said i won't do again
quenching this desire that's been burning
yearning...to break free
i can't describe the ways in which you fill me
damn! i think you got me
spinning tumbling mumbling
i'm stuttering for you
i sure hope you feel it too
cause it takes two.

new script (ahmissya)

i choose you, that's why i'm here
what more must you understand?
they're no second motives, no masterplan
stop listening to soothsayers and gypsies
don't get caught up in the he said she said disease
please, lemme breathe, let us breathe and receive what we deserve.
it's like we're fighting a war just to be
then we turn the tension inside
you call me bossy, sassy and all kinds of adjectives
i'm not trying to run your life brotha
i'm not trying to be your mother but
my voice deserves to be heard sometimes.
we are living under these eyes, the judge and the jury
we are choking in our space and creating inner anarchy
it's been a while since i saw the sun in you
it's been a while since we let the light shine through
let's get back to that you and me cloud nine high.
i chose you and you only. let's get back to where we should be
when our hearts were pure and our love was new
i miss you...

6 minutes after sundown

this is not how
i thought it would be
you see that girl
standing in the corner
looking all melancholy
and you wonder....
who is she?

"hi, i'm sadness wrapped in my bosom
with hopelessness in my smile.
i am forgotten dreams and ambition too,
nice to meet you!"

she's tired
depends on silly sitcoms to laugh
she's breathing but only barely hanging in
she loves chocolate and long walks on the beach for miles
but recently she'd just be happy to smile...

she keeps on...

you're so close to me
i can feel your heartbeat pounding in my back
yet we're light years from where we should be
and though you're so near i can feel you breathe,
tonight i feel lonely.

so i put on some music to sing my blues
hoping my rhythm reaches you, that my words move you
and that you open your eyes and see our reality.

see the emptiness that lies within me. see the woman you created.

you're so close to me
yet my voice echoes when i call your name
distracted. tell me, what do you want from me?
tell me what you want me to do and i'll do it. what you want me to
make i'll make it, create it mold it. but i can't hold on much longer
less i fake it. i am lonely.

can you hear me? can you understand? i see these sistas
getting good loving from their man and i go damn!
i want some. its been too long i been here. too long.

so i turn the music loud to drown out my blues
and i'm bluesin' tonight over you over us and over what we aren't
closing my rhythm from you for you are proving to me
day by day that i can do better.

you're so close to me
i can feel your brown skin on my brown skin
but now my spirit is dying as we're ending.
i know this is what i want, what i need
but that doesn't stop the pain in my chest that is
my soul bleeding.

tomorrow i will start to move on but tonight
i have my tears to cry me to sleep.

for Fay.