she keeps on...

you're so close to me
i can feel your heartbeat pounding in my back
yet we're light years from where we should be
and though you're so near i can feel you breathe,
tonight i feel lonely.

so i put on some music to sing my blues
hoping my rhythm reaches you, that my words move you
and that you open your eyes and see our reality.

see the emptiness that lies within me. see the woman you created.

you're so close to me
yet my voice echoes when i call your name
distracted. tell me, what do you want from me?
tell me what you want me to do and i'll do it. what you want me to
make i'll make it, create it mold it. but i can't hold on much longer
less i fake it. i am lonely.

can you hear me? can you understand? i see these sistas
getting good loving from their man and i go damn!
i want some. its been too long i been here. too long.

so i turn the music loud to drown out my blues
and i'm bluesin' tonight over you over us and over what we aren't
closing my rhythm from you for you are proving to me
day by day that i can do better.

you're so close to me
i can feel your brown skin on my brown skin
but now my spirit is dying as we're ending.
i know this is what i want, what i need
but that doesn't stop the pain in my chest that is
my soul bleeding.

tomorrow i will start to move on but tonight
i have my tears to cry me to sleep.

for Fay.