strange you never knew

i mean, it's not that i care, well......not really. i guess the feeling i have right now is one of failure. i feel as if i've failed in some aspect, in some way, as if i've failed myself even. all of that killing them with kindness b.s. didn't work. i feel as if i failed by not being able to get him to love me, by not presenting myself in a way that he could go like "damn!!! i can't believe she is actually in my life". i've failed myself in the sense that i allow these "anybodys" to come into my life, run wild (for free may i add) and leave without writing a review, without even leaving a note in the suggestion box *sigh*...... without me. it's like someone is playing this really big joke on me, so what you're saying is that there's no gold at the end of the rainbow? hum........what's my lesson in this whole thing nah? that no matter what the consequence never let anyone make me feel ashamed of giving my all, to always be honest and to remind myself that it's not me that failed it's the person's inability too see that i am. human.