uneasy

you lie to me and i lie back to even the score

sinking so deep in this game can't tell what's real no more

there is no reason, just want you around

sharing, living, dreaming, being

i'm captivated by the one i've found
but we can't build this home on deceitful ground
we can't make music without a sound
there is no reason, just want you around
believe in me and i'll have your back to the end
yet sometimes i miss the ease there was when we were just friends.

on love.

like the flower, patiently waiting to fully bloom.....
or the radiant sun eclipsing the soft moon......
oh yes, love is indeed everywhere.....
but real love? to me? seems so rare.....

complicated.

on this merry go round of ups and downs
i run away from you and to you at the same time
just out of my touch yet engulfing my ebony
below, around, surround sound and above me
massaging the sugar-coated notes of my underbelly
love is.....
coming.

there is potential.

daily bread

you came along

awoken a soul

that was sleeping

yet dreaming a song

with the courage now to recite the words

listening to the tune of the humming bird

transforming my thoughts to spoken word

i am music

i've become that jazz

of b.b. king and norah jones

the rhythm of that brass ensemble from Chicago

bluesin' to their rebelliously unique flow

all day

comfortable in my own skin

better now from the outside in

still a winner even if in last place

when i thought what i needed was space

you came along

awoken a soul

that was sleeping

yet living a song

with the courage now to recite the words

listening to the tune of the humming bird

transforming my thoughts to spoken word

i am music.

i've become that neo-soul

like lauryn and jill, outta control

exclusively

fear no longer crippling my body

FREE! so alive and free, even if i sing out of key

or aloud, in a crowd, along with the radio

you sway to the sounds of morcheeba with me

just when i felt like i could no longer breathe

you came

awoken a soul

that was sleeping

yet breathing through your spirit song

all along.......

inertia......

inside
pride paralyzing limbs, too numb to vocalize how i'm feeling. our cause and the effects it leaves on us must change, time to turn the page on this drama, it's killing this writer.

complaining
that i am enclosed in a shell, just goes to show how well you don't know. i fashion myself open to speak on anything or anyone but it'd take a revolution for me to speak on me with this tongue. i know.....contradiction.

affecting
my thoughts and my sleeping routine, up thinking when i should be lost in a dream. heart beating so loud it's deafening, couldn't even hear you if you were screaming right next to me.

everyday
the same as before as we continue to grow further and further apart, the seams of this art undoing, with no one bending. if you could only see, you have to be silent to actually hear me, just listen. maybe then i could admit to you, i too am afraid.

notes in A Cappella

our song deserved an audience i suppose
you in the base, I in soprano
playing me smoothly like the keys on your grand piano
uhmmmm, a ballad with the most endearing falsetto.

i wrapped my strings round your auburn guitar
you were my minuet versed in G minor
my love for you ran up scales beyond measure
humming slow lullaby bars in iambic pentameter.

two notes cast in the most classic love theme
scripting images of our future accompanying us on the tambourine
baby, i loved you like the flute loves the soft breeze
my heart danced to your reggae beats blowing in the trees
you were the sweetest symphony i never had
till that day i found out our duo was actually a triad.

octaves pacing, organs racing in staccato
lives changing, morphing into totally different tempos
the choir grew loud, i could no longer ignore the voices
our business playing on the streets on malicious devices.

thought i'd change my style, started bellowing in alto
becoming a different person in this musical portfolio
but tragically our tune had already lost its rhythm
signs of lust and deceit plagued symptoms
chanted louder, tried to reach you through my microphone
but you were long gone before i even realised you were gone
for when i thought we were in harmony all along
after the final curtain drew,
i realised it was always a solo song.

the thing with my voice is that it sets you free
you could never out the flame burning inside me
now, i purr in a honey combed crested descant
surrounding myself with an orchestra of uplifting instruments
mellow tones with hints of neo-soul, trip and acid jazz
addictive glow and an even sexier pizazz
my flow grows with me on my lyrical cantata
as i perform my aria in a Capella

now i sing
la la la la la la la la laaaaaaaa.

i forgave her.

like a thief in the night
stole my bone from my marrow
a piece of my pie, a damn sty in my eye
childishly playing with my emotions
parading them like a peacock
handsome she was i can't front,
heck i ain't blind!
but what lied inside? a demon in disguise
man, took me by surprise....what did he see in her?
when you take what ain't yours, you don't brag, you don't boast
play shy and try to keep it simple at the most.
of course she laughed in my ear that time i called
gave her a chance to talk woman to woman
but was reminded i was dealing with a child
in this playground of lies.
made me lose focus
invaded my space, my safety zone
in a crowd forced to don a smile
all the while
ms. innocent and unaware took center stage
the lead in my original play
strutting around with stolen goods
depriving me of my heart food
i grew weaker and weaker my spirit slowly fading-
away in my own melancholic sea i was wading
and even when it felt like she stomped on my soul with the bottom of her sole, still
i forgave her.
but with God at my side and prayer as my guide
i've come to realize we too quickly mislay the blame
when the origin of it all begins and ends with him.
revenge is ugly business served cold or hot
turns you into something wicked, someone you're not
your own inner enemy and a stranger to many
picked up a few lessons along the way
she was a mere piece in this player's game
the first forgiveness should be given to him
and in the end she was perfect for him
but God had other plans for me all along
i let go the weights that were holding me down
genuinely smiling now as i walk in the crowd.
now i understand.
i had to let go of loving him
only then did the real healing begin.
now i fondly look back and say "i remember when.........."

bare

like the 3 minutes for the conditioner to work, i'm waitin'
who i am and what i do, they hatin'
first you want me go then you want me to stay, i'm swayin'
swaying away from you.
i say exactly what's on my mind, it's true
don't ask if you don't want to hear the truth
truth is, you're feeding my strength with your sarcasm
stronger now than i could have ever imagined
now i wait no more my time is now
i'll flip the down side of this somehow
up up and away, just like that i'm gone
cheers to a new era, and to the ending of another.


COMING/through

in plain view
yet so outta sight
stalking me, watching my every move
tempt me you might
to come over to your side
she-lion at the of this pride
you and i know the truth
poof!
catch up to me
as i take my high ride
it's all coming out now
i missed the stop..............joy-riding
slyly slipping through your phalanges
i spy
a forgotten memory