cold as ice

nothing
kinda empty inside, no feeling, no warmth, just air
i want to know what it feels like to care about something passionately
instead of just feeling like a vacuum
nothing
no pitter patter of the heart
no sweaty palms
where are the butterflies that were mine?
nothing
kinda dead outside too
no nervous anticipation
or surprize around the corner
nothing
just breathing in the recycled air
of people with something
hardly keeps me going
nothing
just there
no expression
no clue or idea
still nothing
hard to explain this feeling
like my shadow, it's always there
just cold
nothing
longing for anything
a distraction even for just a day
no reminders of the chill, that exists in my air