i wish i felt nothing

why am i here? singing the same old song. is my heart so dead it needs these jolts of pain to breathe new life? emotionally unavailable yet i'm so drawn, it must be those fucking eyes that got me so hypnotized. but you, you wish nothing more of me than my body, and me, me, i give into you so easily. what is it about you that draws me so, always after the wrong guy, why? i don't know, could you just smile for me? just for once?

i wish i could tell you how i feel, but you'd never understand. knowing you, you'd just go and leave me here to pick up the pieces. what fucking pieces? there should never have been a connection. i purposely block people out, how the fuck did you get in?

i wish you could want me, like i want you. i wish you would wish you were always with me, enjoying my company. i wish i could tell you how i feel, and you understand (i wish you were my man). i wish i wans't here writing, instead, should be next to you. i wish your heart would break at the mere thought of me not being there. sometimes i also wish that you too, would just disappear. i wish i didn't have to wish and that you would call. i wish you were thinking of me this very instant. i wish i could forget you, move on, start over (still i wish we were together, in the shower). i wish i had the same effect on you as you on me. i wish you cared more. i wish you'd spent the night talking to me and not her (what's that about?). i wish i felt nothing